Down the Rabbit Hole
Cloudy 37 Degrees
What do you do when your child KNOWS he will always be loved and accepted for who he is, no matter what he does or does not do?
What do you do when he KNOWS that there is no line, past which he will experience a dominating physical outburst from you?
This makes controlling him like normal parents are trained to do rather difficult.
So how do you get your child to do what you want?
How do you deal with raising an independent being and insist the one exception to their independence is your authority?
In pursuit of answering a question like that, you come across an even more difficult question:
What makes your Will such that you feel it should supersede the Will of your child?
Because you’re the “parent?”
Because your religion told you it does?
Because that’s what your parents did?
For me, none of these reasons is good enough.
My own thinking brought me to a simple conclusion:
I can’t find a way to rationalize my Will dominating the Will of any other human. And the reason I can’t find a way is because it’s simply not something that should exist.
I decided that what I experienced as a child, where the Will of one human or humans was often used to dominate another, would END with me.
So I had to figure out a new method of existing as a father.
With ten children, I have a lot riding on my actions.
I could choose to retreat into the paradigm and thought programs I was raised with, or I could take a step into the creation of something new.
I chose to assume the role of guide in a way where I’m holding space for the experience of my children’s journey.
What does holding space even mean?
It means being present in the fullness and depth of someone’s experience, without judgement, story or projection of your own crap into that experience.
It is the very essence of BEING. And it is a VERY active state.
By choosing this route, I remind myself that I am looking into the eyes of a being whose soul is as profound, valuable and limitless as my own.
And with that reminder, I can enter the sacred place of BEINGNESS with my child, a single point of expression of the All That Is.
Coercion and dominance have no place in such a vibratory state.
Does soil in the ground tell a flower how to grow? Does it coerce specific performance from the flower? Does it transfer its own wounds and unresolved issues to the developing bud? Does it criticize the journey of the flower or offer comparison to other similar flowers?
No. Soil offers support, enrichment and a solid foundation. It serves as a witness to the expression of brilliance and magnificence that is coming forth above it.
It is my intention to offer my children nothing less.
Each morning, I get to make that choice over again and continue walking on this path. I have a long way to go, but I am walking. And that has made all the difference.