By the Ocean
Cloudy 79 Degrees
8:24 a.m.
I’ve wasted a lot of time in my business life entertaining problems that weren’t mine to solve.
Recovering people pleasers tend to do this.
They think that being liked and validated requires this type of “overdoing it” behavior.
“Oh, you forgot where you put that email I sent you that I said was important? Let me drive over to your house and find it for you. I’ll also do the dishes while I’m there!”
Unfortunately, the results are pretty terrible when you do this.
First of all, this behavior transforms your client into a child. If you train him to expect this type of behavior, he will expect this type of behavior even when you’re tired of it.
Next, making other people’s problems your problems will result in you having too many problems to solve. You will do your best but probably end up solving too few problems not so well. So your good intentions, borne of deep insecurity, will make you look stupid.
There are plenty of other bad things that happen when we give into a desire to please anyone. But these two are plenty to ruin a Monday, so we’ll stop there for today!
So what is to be done?
You have to draw a line and respect it.
If you want to be liked, buy a dog. If you want to lead your clients and customers to places they can’t otherwise get on their own, then solve the problems you’re great at solving and ignore the rest.
If you want to attract great clients, you have to treat your clients like great clients would be treated.
You solve problems that are yours to solve.
You don’t solve problems that are NOT yours to solve.
Having the discernment and discipline to do that doesn’t decrease your value, it increases it.