Raising the Perfect Child

Discover Some of My (Many) Lessons Learned About Engineering an Environment For Raising Children to Be Themselves

I knew I had to get my sh*t together the day I tried to trip my four year old son as he was running away from me after doing something I didn’t approve of.

He was being a typical, defiant, four year old.

I was being an immature, angry child in a man’s body.

Back then, my son was going through a rather angry period himself. (His name means fire, so it’s not like we weren’t expecting it!) But that was the only excuse my inner child needed to release some of my stored up pain into the next generation.

This is how the wound transfers:

The pain from someone who didn’t deal with it gets imprinted upon someone who didn’t ask for it.

And that new someone then takes that energetic implant and watches as it begins to impact the type of reality they create.

This event, which happened many years ago, was prior to my realization that the biggest challenge of parenting has nothing to do with your child and everything to do with keeping your unresolved issues from getting transferred to your child.

Unless you do some real work, this is usually what happens.

Growing up, the example of parenting I saw was the “molding” approach.

This is when the parent “molds” the child’s behavior according to the parent’s set of values, ideals and perspectives on the world.

The most common strategy for this type of approach involves a never ending sequence of carrots and sticks.

Unfortunately, this also generally includes a fair amount of projection where all of the sh*it the parent never dealt with (or maybe wasn’t even aware of) is put on the child.

Nice.

Only many years later did I realize this approach is a great way to ruin a human.

These days, my goal is nothing short of raising the “perfect child.”

Raising the perfect child means you’re engineering an environment that allows the child to grow into WHO they are supposed to be.

That has nothing to do with my values, ideals or opinions. It has nothing to do with me projecting who I think my child is or should be onto my child.

This is not easy. Because it requires you to redefine your idea of “control.” Most of us need control so we can deal with how NOT IN CONTROL we actually are on this plane.

But controlling a child is not how you raise a perfect one.

In fact, control is how you derail a child from following his natural internal compass.

Will you like where that compass is pointing?

Maybe, maybe not.

Will you agree with where that compass is leading him?

Maybe, maybe not.

One of the most valuable skills in parenting is to get clear on exactly what you think that word MEANS.

When I started, I had no clue.

But my kids have taught me. One day at a time.

On Sunday October 10 at 3 PM Eastern, I will be hosting an online event to share some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned doing my best to raise 10 kids to be who they are here to be.

You’ll hear the good parts and the not so good parts.

If the idea of helping our children play a transformative role in the future of this planet resonates with you, then this could offer some help on that journey.

This is event is by donation only.

So please choose whatever amount is right for you. A recording of the event will be distributed to everyone who registers.